“How do you get those cows to do what you want”, Honey Bunches queried. “Its all body language”, I explain. She presses me, “You mean you see what they wanna do and use that to your advantage?” “Not exactly”, I say. “I carry a big stick, if they get rowdy, I show ‘em some body language!” Of course, I was teasing her. She was pretty close to the truth in her analogy. She is just a little mystified by the fact that I talk to everything.
I wasn’t aware of my conversations with inanimate objects until Honey Bunches pointed it out. She originally thought it was cute. Luckily this got me married instead of institutionalized. Now, she is starting to wonder. “Who is out there,” she will ask. “Just me and the truck”, I reply, “Come on truck, you can start now”.
I watch the cows pushin the fence, “You better get away from there, you dang cows”, I holler. In my mind they hear me and are just ignoring me to be annoying. In reality, I am pretty sure they don’t understand english, but do understand they are cows. Therefore, their interpretation would actually be, “Blah Blah Blah Blah, Dang cows”!
I talk to tractors, boats, equipment, dogs, and all kinds of wildlife. Instead of running from a skunk once, I tried communicating with him. “Ok you skunk, don’t spray me now!”
He's a scary one!
Appearently skunk hearing is akin to cow hearing and he heard, “blah blah blah, spray me now!” This particular event triggered a stern warning from Honey Bunches. “No more talking to anything but people”, she warned. “You are right honey”, I agreed, “Gonna work on my blog”. “Thats great”, she says.
I type along happily until my internet signal fails. “Come on you stupid computer!”, I coax. “Who you talkin to”, queries Honey Bunches. “Nobody”, I says.
